In the history of HYDLE.com… this ridiculous “TSOIGDH” entry marks my 999th public blog post since May of 2009 – When I started this crazy world of blogging ideas, thoughts and Genius vs. Not Genius intermanents and social media successes or failures.
So for the sake of getting google credit for it…
“TSOIGDH” = TURNING SHIT ON IT’S GOD DAMN HEAD
Turning shit on it’s god damn head is going to be my 1 single inspiration for the next 999 blogpost entries. I can’t wait to open up my connection layer for all my loyal readers… so I can start finding out who you actually are.
In rugby when you score your first try, you are required to remove your clothes, either after the match or at the social and run around naked. This is the Zulu Warrior tradition.
Sunday, April 29th, I complete my first tri; a Triathlon that is! I competed in the Blaster Blast Triathlon held at the Colorado School of Mines. I knew that when I woke up and it wasn’t snowing that it was going to be a good day. It snowed at this event last year. I got to the transition zone around 8am and found a spot all the way in the back. Apparently the T-Zone opened at 7am and all the close spots were already taken. Since this was my first triathlon, I didn’t really care. I didn’t let it bother me and I focused on keeping things simple.
After I was set up, I took in a few more calories and headed into the pool area. They opened the lanes to warm up, so I did a quick lap and felt great. I stood in line and got my number drawn on my arm and leg. #1757, this was AWESOME and I think that’s when I really started getting amp’d up for the competition. The fastest swimmers started first, three to a lane, and once a lane opened up, another three racers started. I didn’t get into the water until 9:45, so it gave me plenty of time to freak out!
Finally, my turn to play. I jumped in the water and the lady asked me my number, I told her and she said ready, GO! and remotely started my timing chip. I was off to a great start, until one of the guys in my lane passed me. I had never swum with three to a lane and it was stressful. I tried to remain calm and just fall into a rhythm. Success! I finally got into a groove and knocked it out. Luckily, there were some nice volunteers to count my laps, or else, I’m pretty sure I’d still be swimming.
I got out of the pool 2nd in my group. I was definitely winded and my legs felt like Jell-O, but I got in and out of the T1 in a decent time. The first part of the bike was downhill which gave me plenty of time to zip up my jersey and take in more calories. I immediately ate another gel pack and four big gulps of EnduroxR4. The first part of the trail was extremely technical, so I was really glad I had ridden my road bike. I went out hard and started passing people. It was an out and back on the Clear Creek trail. I felt at home on my bike and pushed it pretty hard. I got to the turn around with a smile on my face, time to tackle the big hill back into Golden. I took in more calories and really hit the corners hard, I was feeling winded on the climb, but my legs responded amazingly when I asked them for one last push up the steepest part. I past four more people and caught a second wind near the T-Zone when I saw Stephanie Moose cheering me on.
I sat down and tore off the biking gear and put on my Moose gear, it was time to go catch some more people. The first part of the run was uphill. I felt sluggish, but when I saw other people suffering I pushed through and passed a lady just before the downhill. I was able to recover a lot during the long ¾ mile downhill section. When it flattened out I saw the guy from my swim lane that had gotten out first. I was feeling great, so instead of waiting I decide to kick it now around 1.5 mile marker. What goes down must come up, the second mile was back up the hill, but I was ready for it and it really played into my strengths. I opened a large gap between the other runners behind me. I came back through the original transition area one last time to some more cheering fans and it was literally all downhill from there. I sprinted the last 200 meters and caught an unsuspecting guy right at the line.
Whew! It was over, just like that. I got full body chills when I thought to myself, Ted, you’re a Triathlete!
We had an amazing time at the Brad Paisley concert in Denver last night. I don’t know what this country music thing is all about, but after meeting Brad and getting the opportunity to see such a “large performance” show like this with such good company — my cowboy hat continues to come out.
As my country inspiration from Montana – Jesse Alberi states via the Facebook…
“Just keep wearin the hat and boots and the country will find you. I Just watched on youtube what you saw live last night… jealous bro.”
It was an incredibly entertaining show with Scotty McCreery, The Band Perry and even Tim Tebow. Watch this as the Band Perry drops for the most epic Tebowing of all time while Brad Paisley and Tebow sang “I’m Still a Guy.” Saying it got loud… is an understatement.
[YouTubeUlar] <— 0
Surprisingly, The Band Perry did NOT sing "Walk Me Down the Middle". Katherine was the proud winner of a Brad Paisley guitar pick. I learned about dog-tags of fallen soldiers. Brad's dad Doug is a story teller. It was a sold out show.
Katie + Ryan + Trista... thank you for such a fun night. Here are some highlights.
After getting back to the internets to research some of this country music thing, I found a direct explanation from Brad Paisley’s 3.6 million strong Facebook page. This is Country Music. Pretty cool.
“I just saw Amanda play last night at a crap hole bar on colfax… although you can’t make fun of bars like this… you can poke fun of her absolutely rocking out a place where she doesn’t belong. Just because she can.”
[iDevice Link] <— 2,293
In support of my sister Sheila, I am reposting this. In all honesty, I would probably throw this stripper a buck or two. If she’s not an adult entertainer – I apologize… I was purely judging on behalf of her name only.
@2:20 when she walks down the stairs… on a pole = pretty amazing.
[iDevice Link] <— 39,607
Some very interesting analogies and thoughts presented via messengers, comedians and a little bit of sappy emotional music.
“When you win… you go into this smoky room with the 12 industrialists capitalists scumfucks who got you in there. And your in this smoking room and this… little screen comes down. And a big guy and a cigar says – “roll the film”. And it’s a shot of the Kennedy assassination from an angle you’ve never seen before.
And then the film – the screen goes up and the lights come on and they go… “Your the new president – any questions?””
Synopsis (written by Devin Rhinehart):
4 kids from Montana are planning a vacation in Utah in 2004. One of them wants to know how to get to Chad’s Gap (the most mythical, unobtainable, challenging, quest of all time.). So the kid decides to go to a very reasonable source for skiing information (ns) and ask the question (How do you get to Chad’s Gap from the bas of Alta?).
Little does the kid realize… The Mormon population in Utah has spawned very territorial fierce gangsters that will break anybody’s back or kneecaps if they even mention Chad’s Gap. Also Marc Frank Montoya some how managed to make it out of the inner-city of Denver to become the gang leader in Alta. He relies on his thugs at Mac Dawg Productions to assist in getting the word out to all non residents of the state that if anybody attempts to find this gap they will certainly die.
But the gangs and broken kneecaps is the least of Creed’s worries. The really daunting task is trying to sift through 5 pages of disparaging remarks from the new schoolers to try to find reasonable directions to the Gap. Not to mention all the death threats and mean hurtful comments that attack his confidence and make him cry every night.
But Creed has a good friend to back him up (montanakid). They begin their trek from Montana to find “The Gap.” Meanwhile altarider and freeski1620 keep posting in the thread about certain death and destruction to anyone who attempts to come out to Utah and hit “their” gap. Little do they know that as they post Creed is shoveling and packing out the in run to the most impossible jump known to man. It really doesn’t take them that long, because shoveling snow is a past time for people from Montana and they are highly skilled.
The jump is ready. The cameras are in place. ACTION!!!
They hit Chad’s Gap. They throw down pretty hard, but not hard enough to blow the gap up that comes much later (in fact a couple years later). They post the videos on the thread and make everyone talking trash look like losers. They become heros to most. People look up to them for their accomplishments and big testicles.
The thread continues on even though the kids fade into the depths of the internet. Some say they rose above the internet and others say they ran into password problems, but whatever happened it really doesn’t matter because a couple years later the Gap gets blown up.
Here is where the story gets interesting. No one can confirm this, but apparently Chad’s Gap was destroyed. Now the jump for sure was destroyed by ski patrol after T Hall’s infamous mishap (Should have been wearing Full Tilts bud). Some say that the landing was also destroyed though. It could have been Tom Wallisch who afterbanged and blew it up, it could have been the TNT packed in Tanner’s boots, Or it could have been the infamous MFM crew that poured so much salt on it that it ate the landing away and there is just a hole in the ground now that will never grow vegetation. But most people think that ski patrol used two year’s worth of dynamite that should have been used to blast for Avalanches to not only blow up the landing but the entire gulch. I for one believe that Jon Olson had the entire gap moved for a super secret ski event in Europe. He hired the girl from the “Solid 7” thread to pop out a couple of oomp a loompas and he moved the entire gap stone by stone.
How it was destroyed really is not important the thing that is important is that somehow Tony Hawk was contacted by MFM (He was crying because his gap had been destroyed). Tony came out and rebuilt the gap using Boobs. Yes, Boobs. The landing is so soft and nippley now. Ski Patrol still keeps a pretty good eye on the gulch and has posted snipers up on the ridges at the direction of MFM to shoot anybody who comes into their territory. So if you are thinking of hitting Chad’s Gap in the future I would be careful. Besides…
you can’t just go and hit chads!!!
Every year a group of New Schoolers makes their way out there on January 13th to honor the brave men who came before us. They never seem to make it to the gap though because they get all turned around trying to follow the directions from the thread.
Eric Newman attempted a rodeo. Jack Elliott did a straight air. Andrew Creed did 2 straight airs and landed a 360. Pat Owen did 3 straight airs and landed a front flip.
According to art director Craig Allen, the agency and Mustafa will be continuing the responses through today, so tune into the Old Spice YouTube page to see if Isaiah will single you out and check back here for a Q&A with the team that made it happen.