Tits & Ass Group Run – Saturday, April 6th – Golden

T&A Ted Archuleta on Mt Falcon

It’s Springtime Bitches!!!!!!

This means a couple things….

1) Race season is here.

2) The shorts come out, and you all get to experience the 12th wonder of the world that is Ted’s ridiculously, ridiculously, enormously massive incredible hulk legs. I’ve attached a picture from our trail run at Mt. Falcon last year for reference. Enjoy!

Saturday we’ll be hitting a trail I don’t believe we have done yet. North Table Mountain. It has a nice 8.5 mile loop around the rim up top with plenty of options to cut off for shorter distances. I believe it is relatively flat once you climb to the top so it should make for a nice, enjoyable spring day on the trails. Hope to see you there!!!

DATE: Saturday, April 6.

TIME: 9 AM SHARP!!!!!!!!!!!ish.

WHERE: North Table Mesa. Just North of Golden off Hwy 93. Directions can be found HERE

WHY: If you’ve ever wondered what truly embodies Russian culture, I’ve found it here.

Hope to see you all out with us. Supposed to be a very nice day for a run.

Much Love,

The T&A Propaganda Machine

ILA – Colorado USA Pro Cycling Challenge

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… ready!


Ted Archuleta – Zulu Warrior

In rugby when you score your first try, you are required to remove your clothes, either after the match or at the social and run around naked. This is the Zulu Warrior tradition.

Sunday, April 29th, I complete my first tri; a Triathlon that is! I competed in the Blaster Blast Triathlon held at the Colorado School of Mines. I knew that when I woke up and it wasn’t snowing that it was going to be a good day. It snowed at this event last year. I got to the transition zone around 8am and found a spot all the way in the back. Apparently the T-Zone opened at 7am and all the close spots were already taken. Since this was my first triathlon, I didn’t really care. I didn’t let it bother me and I focused on keeping things simple.

After I was set up, I took in a few more calories and headed into the pool area. They opened the lanes to warm up, so I did a quick lap and felt great. I stood in line and got my number drawn on my arm and leg. #1757, this was AWESOME and I think that’s when I really started getting amp’d up for the competition. The fastest swimmers started first, three to a lane, and once a lane opened up, another three racers started. I didn’t get into the water until 9:45, so it gave me plenty of time to freak out!

Finally, my turn to play. I jumped in the water and the lady asked me my number, I told her and she said ready, GO! and remotely started my timing chip. I was off to a great start, until one of the guys in my lane passed me. I had never swum with three to a lane and it was stressful. I tried to remain calm and just fall into a rhythm. Success! I finally got into a groove and knocked it out. Luckily, there were some nice volunteers to count my laps, or else, I’m pretty sure I’d still be swimming.

I got out of the pool 2nd in my group. I was definitely winded and my legs felt like Jell-O, but I got in and out of the T1 in a decent time. The first part of the bike was downhill which gave me plenty of time to zip up my jersey and take in more calories. I immediately ate another gel pack and four big gulps of EnduroxR4. The first part of the trail was extremely technical, so I was really glad I had ridden my road bike. I went out hard and started passing people. It was an out and back on the Clear Creek trail. I felt at home on my bike and pushed it pretty hard. I got to the turn around with a smile on my face, time to tackle the big hill back into Golden. I took in more calories and really hit the corners hard, I was feeling winded on the climb, but my legs responded amazingly when I asked them for one last push up the steepest part. I past four more people and caught a second wind near the T-Zone when I saw Stephanie Moose cheering me on.

I sat down and tore off the biking gear and put on my Moose gear, it was time to go catch some more people. The first part of the run was uphill. I felt sluggish, but when I saw other people suffering I pushed through and passed a lady just before the downhill. I was able to recover a lot during the long ¾ mile downhill section. When it flattened out I saw the guy from my swim lane that had gotten out first. I was feeling great, so instead of waiting I decide to kick it now around 1.5 mile marker. What goes down must come up, the second mile was back up the hill, but I was ready for it and it really played into my strengths. I opened a large gap between the other runners behind me. I came back through the original transition area one last time to some more cheering fans and it was literally all downhill from there. I sprinted the last 200 meters and caught an unsuspecting guy right at the line.

Whew! It was over, just like that. I got full body chills when I thought to myself, Ted, you’re a Triathlete!

Here are my RESULTS

Hydle Finally Inspired – Take Charge of Your Health

Ted Archuleta ready to go massive on your ass

June 4th, 2011 – Ted Archuleta will reveal his newly shaped body to the world when he performs his 60 second routine to this get pumped version of “All of the Lights” by Kanye West and Rihanna.

Directions – How To Take Charge of Your Health

1 – Listen to the mix we made — All of the Lights (Archuleta Mix by Hydle)
2 – Get pumped.
3 – Now you understand where the context of this email is coming from.

Ok Ted … time for Hydle to take charge of his health.

I want a program – I want small episodes of how to cook – how to eat healthy – and I want to understand why why why… why a certain percentage of whole wheat whatever is ok vs. some other whole wheat whatever. I want to bring this story into my blogo-sphere-land and story telling ability and it is going to connect with other random cooking things I have in the pipeline.

There is a space for this now and in the future… your identity has already been slightly established (http://www.hydle.com/blog/tag/ted-archuleta/) and with your weight training and body building success about to unfold we have a perfect launching platform to tell stories.

This will take work — actually it will probably be the most difficult thing you have ever achieved (way harder then going to coors complex and not drinking beer)… but I think you can muster it. Let me know if you are up for being the master dietitian… + rocket scientist. And maybe energy drink review master for Hydle.com

Rock on!

4 – Support Ted at the Mile High Natural Bodybuilding Championships on June 4th.
5 – Live better and smile more.
6 – Repeat steps 1 and 2.
7 – Repeat step 6 – over and over and over again.

Ted Archuleta – Courage Classic

Here’s the wrap up of the ride….

After 21 years, this ride is a well oiled machine. Great support, great people, great scenery.

I checked in on Friday with plenty of time to relax, listen to some music and drink a couple “soda pops”…hey, I had to carb up. ;)

Day 1: Saturday the ride started in Loveland, but since Eli and I carpooled and he needed it to get to Loveland on Monday, I didn’t really have a ride to the starting line…so I rode my bike. It was 30 degrees at the top of Freemont pass and the fog was so thick I could only see about a bike length in front of me. I made it to Loveland and basically turned around and rode back up over Tennessee pass, Battle Mountain and Vail Pass (King of the Mountain). This ride is commonly known as the “Copper Triangle”…a GREAT way to start a 3 day ride.

Day 2: I knew it was gonna rain around 2pm so I got out there early for the Century option. 100 miles that takes you from Copper to Silverthorne, North on Hwy 9 to Ute Pass (pass line picture, myself and 3 other strong riders average about 27 mph to Ute Pass. It’s awesome when you ride past a car radar and it flashes SLOW DOWN), then back South on Hwy 9 through Silverthorne to Keystone, up over Swan Mountain into Frisco. Frisco to Breckenridge (for lunch, my “power lunch” consisted of ½ a can of Coke and a cherry pie Lara bar), then Breckenridge back to Copper. I demo’d about ~$5000 bike (Full Carbon Specialized) from Wheat Ridge Cycling and CRUSHED the ride. I spent 5:25 in the saddle and only got caught in the rain for the last 5 miles.

Day 3 came early, and another ride up Freemont pass, this time with some wonderful company. Finished up with a short ride around Turquoise Lake (I highly recommend, it’s straight out of an MC Escher book, the road seems to continually go up). At the finish line I received a gold medal from a Children’s Hospital patient in a wheel chair.

Over the 3 days, I rode 230 miles, climbed over 15,000 feet of elevation, spent ~14 hours in the saddle, and raised $334 dollars ☺

Here are a few pictures from the weekend.


Workout Today

It is now February of 2010. New Years is over – so I guess it’s finally time to get back into shape. Todays workout comes from BodyRock.tv

Zuzana is ripped… and provides incentive. Skip the drama and jump to 3:30 to start. Might want to watch it a few times to figure out what the hell she is doing… or of course you can read about how to do it.

It takes only 20 minutes… and I have a numbers document created to track this specific workout. If you want it… tell me.

Good luck Ted.