{"id":6813,"date":"2012-01-18T01:24:06","date_gmt":"2012-01-18T08:24:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/?p=6813"},"modified":"2012-01-18T14:04:12","modified_gmt":"2012-01-18T21:04:12","slug":"whos-up-for-a-few-golf-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/2012\/01\/whos-up-for-a-few-golf-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Who’s up for a few Golf Jokes?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! “Help me dear,” she groans to her husband.<\/p>\n

The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.<\/p>\n

“I’m dying here and you’re putting?”
\n“Don’t worry dear,” says the husband calmly, “they found a doctor on the second hole and he’s coming to help you.<\/p>\n

“Well, how long will it take for him to get here?” she asks feebly.
\n“No time at all,” says her husband. “Everybody’s already agreed to let him play through.”<\/p>\n

—————————————————————————————-<\/p>\n

A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, “You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What’s your secret?”<\/p>\n

Mickelson replied, “The holes are numbered.”<\/p>\n

—————————————————————————————-<\/p>\n

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.<\/p>\n

The detective asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”<\/p>\n

“Yes” says the woman.<\/p>\n

“Did you hit him with that golf club?”<\/p>\n

“Yes, yes, I did.” The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.<\/p>\n

“How many times did you hit him?”<\/p>\n

“I don’t know — five, six, maybe seven times…..just put me down for a five.”<\/p>\n

—————————————————————————————-<\/p>\n

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through.<\/p>\n

Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.<\/p>\n

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, “Are you a good golfer?<\/p>\n

The man replied: “Got here in two, didn’t I?<\/p>\n

—————————————————————————————-<\/p>\n

The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.<\/p>\n

She said: “What are your golf clubs doing here?”<\/p>\n

He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! “Help me dear,” she groans to her husband. The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}},"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[26,38,267,37],"tags":[1662,2999,2087,3016],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2oCe7-1LT","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6813"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6813"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6813\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6816,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6813\/revisions\/6816"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6813"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6813"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6813"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}