{"id":8996,"date":"2016-11-29T02:04:30","date_gmt":"2016-11-29T09:04:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/?p=8996"},"modified":"2016-11-29T02:06:04","modified_gmt":"2016-11-29T09:06:04","slug":"blacker-black-magic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/2016\/11\/blacker-black-magic\/","title":{"rendered":"Blacker than Black Magic"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"584\" height=\"329\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/LAo-DmzdvK0?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><br \/>\n[<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=LAo-DmzdvK0\" target=\"_blank\">YouTubeUlar<\/a>] &lt;\u2014 2,996,884<\/a><\/p>\n<p>This post is a straight reminder of when these cleaning solution selling pieces of awesomeness showed up on my front doorstep back in 2008.<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.hydle.com\/2008\/041808_CleaningDay\/\" target=\"_blank\">Video 1 (carpet stain)<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.hydle.com\/2008\/041808_GrillDemo\/\" target=\"_blank\">Video 2 (grill cleaning)<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m going to be quick like nestle.<br \/>\nThey get whiter than my elbows without lotion.<br \/>\nStevie Wonder says seeing is believing.<br \/>\nI got a disease called enthusiasm.<br \/>\nI&#8217;m gonna cut to the mustard.<br \/>\nWax on wax off like Mr. Miyagi.<br \/>\nThat&#8217;s why we can&#8217;t sell it to criminals.<br \/>\nMy mom says if it&#8217;s darker than me, and doesn&#8217;t pay the bills&#8230; it shouldn&#8217;t be there right.<br \/>\nYou know what HBO means? Help a Brother Out.<br \/>\nLook &#8211; you just go back and forth like an argument.<br \/>\nNow I&#8217;m not Jesus, but look how I split that like Moses did the Red Sea.<br \/>\nPaint me green, call me a pickle.<br \/>\nThat one bottle last longer than my last relationship.<br \/>\nYou all got water right? High five, you qualify to use it.<br \/>\nNow this is my last demo, and I&#8217;m outta your hair quicker than shampoo.<br \/>\nWould you throw it out, shout it out, get OJ to stab it out, get Mike Tyson to bit it out, Kobe Bryant to&#8230;<br \/>\nIt was a multiple choice funny joke.<br \/>\nYou know you can&#8217;t put bleach on colors right.<br \/>\nThis is safe on colors, that&#8217;s why we can&#8217;t sell it to Sammy Sosa.<br \/>\nThis right here takes out ink, blood, coffee stains, grass stains, kool-aid, lipstick, gum.<br \/>\nWhat&#8217;s the hardest thing to clean?<br \/>\nWould it be carpet, tile, bbq grill, shower doors, that oil and rust in the driveway that&#8217;s blacker than my mother but not as beautiful?<br \/>\nCan I put this on YouTube? Yes ma&#8217;am.<br \/>\nWhat are you selling? Personality. But this sells itself though.<br \/>\nThis is called Advantage the Wonder Cleaner.<br \/>\nBest thing since cake and ice cream.<br \/>\nNow unlike madonna, it&#8217;s never been touched.<br \/>\nI&#8217;m pretty sure windex and bleach never knocked on your door.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[YouTubeUlar] &lt;\u2014 2,996,884 This post is a straight reminder of when these cleaning solution selling pieces of awesomeness showed up on my front doorstep back in 2008. Video 1 (carpet stain) Video 2 (grill cleaning) I&#8217;m going to be quick &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/2016\/11\/blacker-black-magic\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}},"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[2118,60,267,95,6],"tags":[3111,109,128,3112],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2oCe7-2l6","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8996"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8996"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8996\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9001,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8996\/revisions\/9001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hydle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}