$1000 Best. Roommate. Ever.

Anybody have a place in SF that needs a renter or a roommate… this is classic. Straight from craigslist.

MFCEO Roommate writes…

Konichiwa bitches. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fucking found him. I’m a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York Fucking City. That’s right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky shit-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post shit like this on Craigslist.

Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no fucking clue where to live. Honestly, I’m moving there in 3 weeks, so I don’t give a shit if I have to sleep in your bathtub.

A bit about me: I’m respectful, quiet, clean and I won’t bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I’m just like, “Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it’s not mine.” I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I’ll even cook for you. That’s right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I’ll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don’t eat meat? That’s fucking FANTASTIC! I’ll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.

I also read a lot. I fucking LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that shit. I read Tuesday’s with Morrie the other day. It’s a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. Fucking smart. Do you like movies? I fucking love them. We can watch the shit out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don’t have to talk to you at all. It’s completely UP TO YOU!

Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT? Of course you are! I’ll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James Fucking Taylor. AWWWWWW SHIT YEA!

A lot of people ask me, “Hey, you’re from Alabama. Are you racist?” And, the answer to that question is, no. I’m not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I’m a secular humanist. I FUCKING LOVE PEOPLE. That’s the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. WTF?!!!? Pretty fucking cool right?

I own almost nothing! I’m driving my car from Alabama to California in which I’ll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a shitload of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you’d like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I’m the most considerate person you’ve ever met. I’m offering to buy you shit already!

Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic ass I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I’m taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I’ll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I’d like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your fucking mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I’m ready to give you money.

[Follow-Up Interview]

Long Drive Training Begins

March 1st, 2010 – Training for season 2 of long drive begins.

Long Drivers of America (LDA) local qualifiers are popping up all over with the first major event coming up March 25-27th in Mesquite, Nevada. The 2010 Diamond in the Desert Classic requires zero pre-registration and will consist of 2 days of open qualifying to create a competitive field for Saturdays Desert Classic final.

New to the RE/MAX World Long Drive Championship sponsorship team this year is Dick’s Sporting Goods and the Slazenger RAW Extreme Distance golf ball. I don’t know what happened to Pinnacle as the official golf ball of the LDA – maybe it just wasn’t extreme enough. Personally – I’m a fan of aggressive.

So if your bored of the snow… lets go hang with the Mesquitos and start swinging.

Long Drive – Part 2

The Last Mesquite Update

Hi all,

Oh how i miss you guys sooo much!!
How is everyone doing there without me?? ;-)

Mesquite has treated me pretty well so far!!! The weather is amazing and the golf is phenomenal!!! Its been in the 60’s, I ” Spring Cleaned” my patio and am gettin ready to hit the pools soon =)
I hear you got snow again… Boo Hoo!!! Im still planning on coming home in June… I think once it hits 90’s here im hittin the ground runnin =)

I have met some pretty bad ass people here.. I have found that a lot of peeps that travel here are from Colorado, I actually met someone last night from Greeley and we talked about Shawsheen Elementary lol.. Its fun having something to talk about with complete strangers and I absolutly love being able to say “Back Home” ha ha

I have so much I wanna tell you about when i get home, I have put together pics of Mesquite in a slide show and cant wait to share it with you when i get back!!
Im plannin a trip to come home for a quick visit May 7-10 … its Miss Valari’s Graduation May 8th!!! Yay!!!!! Cant wait to see you guys!!!!

Here are a few pics to take your mind off the snow for a second =)



I recently had the privilege of attending SEMA with my cousin Matt Ruchong. He runs a customs shop in Fortuna, CA and was our expert for the day… which both Roxs and I needed.

Matt’s wealth of knowledge in the auto industry supersedes my wealth of anything. If your in northern california – Look him up.

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Mesquite WLDC – Day 1

Mesquite, Nevada – Home of the the RE/MAX World Long Drive Championships and apparently also to my new girlfriend Roxann Deese. Below is a photo montage of what I am seeing and doing during this week of “jut hit the ball far” festivities.


Checked out some real estate.
Enchantment Condo for Sale

Met the Duke who is a bible on golf in Mesquite, Nevada.
He built the Casablanca course back in 1995.
The Duke + Cheryl

Hit the range at Casablanca.
Casablanca Golf Course

Drank some CLLs (Coors Light Limes)
Cold Coors Light Limes

Enjoyed beautiful sunset.
Mesquite Nevada Sunset

Met friends Jason Frey (The Savage) and Jason Zuback (The Champion).
Hydle Zuback Frey Deese

P90 what? Try this.

I think this will get some intense results way faster then P90x.

1. Burpee’s

2. Wood Chops

3. Rope Pull

4. Side Lunge

5. Squats

6. Santana

Wow. Good Luck.

Mesquite – Day 1


Mesquite Regional Park

Drove to Mesquite, NV with the girlfriend today to check out some golfing potentials.

My initial findings about this place are two fold based off of which exit off I-15 you take to enter the town of Mesquite coming from Denver.

1. If you take the SECOND exit… and go right. You will LOVE this place.
2. If you take the FIRST exit… and go left. You will HATE this place.

Can’t wait for more findings tomorrow.